Salsa Severus
by Daughter moon
Summary: SSHP Slash, Dumbledore decides that the staff and order members need to 'loosen up' after the war, so he hires someone to teach them all salsa.


Disclaimer: I don't own HP.  
Beta: Occasus

Salsa Severus

"No, absolutely not!" Severus Snape, seated in his customary chair to the left of Dumbledore, radiated fury.

"Come now Severus, it's just a bit of fun and besides, the staff – all of the staff – need to loosen up after the war. It's time to relax."

"I have my own ways of relaxing, Headmaster, and refuse to be subjected to this… this _spectacle_."

Dumbledore inwardly groaned. Severus would agree eventually, he always did, but it would be an uphill battle, possibly with a guilt trip and 'please an old man' cart to carry.

And so it was that Severus found himself seated at one end of the hall, watching the various Hogwarts Professors and order members mill around, waiting for the instructor to arrive. The doors suddenly flew open and Severus groaned.

"It's so _lovely_ to see so many devoted fans brought together again."

Gilderoy Lockheart. Was Dumbledore insane? The man had tried to obliviate a student, on top of which he was a poncy git who wouldn't know subtle if it hit him in the face.

"Now now, everyone gather round. Don't push now!" Snape glanced at the other people in the room, who were not pushing and seemed to be trying to keep their distance. "Now, I was just _so_ pleased to be invited back to teach all you that I brought along a good friend. I hope you don't mind Headmaster."

"No, no, of course not." Exclaimed Dumbledore happily.

"Well then," Lockheart continued. "I would like to introduce you to – My CD player." Severus saw Potter peek out from behind his hands to stare, open mouthed, at the shiny red CD player on the floor. Snape saw him sidle up to Weasley and whisper something. Weasley seemed to be having trouble muffling his laughter. Severus had to admit it was… slightly amusing. He had been expecting some scantily-clad dance partner who was being paid millions to dance a few hours with Lockheart, but apparently not. Lockheart flicked on the music and directed the group into lines.

"Come on, come on, let's get started. Now, first we learn the forward salsa…"

Twenty minutes later, Severus decided that yes, this was hell. It was a lot more musical than he imagined – if you could call this music. Lockheart was still standing at the front, directing their movements. Severus sighed as he gracefully, if reluctantly, followed the steps. 1 day. Just 1 day and this nightmare would be over.

"Shimmy those hips!" Severus turned his eyes quickly from the image of Minerva McGonagall "shimmy"-ing, only to turn his eyes to an even worse sight. 'Dear Merlin' he thought. 'Albus Dumbledore, sans robes, is something I **never **wanted to see.' He closed his eyes quickly to rid his mind, and eyesight, of the image of Dumbledore in a violent pink T-Shirt and Bermuda shorts, shaking his hips to the music.

"Severus." Lockheart's voice sang out. "You aren't shaking!"

"My name is Professor Snape." Severus snapped back. "And you say that one more time and it's you who will be shaking."

"Well at least take off those robes. You can't move properly in robes, you know."

"I-"

"Oh be a sport, Severus." Dumbledore called across the room. Severus forcibly restrained himself from looking at him. "It's just a bit of fun."

"Just a bit of fun, my arse." Severus muttered, removing his heavy outer robes.

"And the other ones Severus!" Dumbledore shouted again. Severus sighed and took off his inner layer to reveal tailored black trousers and a silk shirt. Crossing his arms over his chest, he glared at Dumbledore, then remembered and glared at the floor.

"There. Happy now?"

They had been dancing for over an hour before they finally broke for lunch. Severus quickly escaped to the dungeons and locked himself in his office. They had all gone mad. Dumbledore, Lupin, Potter. They were all _enjoying _themselves.

"I have to get out of here,"he muttered. There was a sudden knock on the door.

"If that is Dumbledore, Lockheart or anyone wearing anything that does not cover at least ¾ of their body, go away!"

"It's me," came a voice from the other side of the door. "Will you let me in?"  
"Get lost Potter," Severus snapped. "I have no desire to fight with you today." There was a soft sigh from beyond the door, and a soft _Alohamora_. The door clicked open.

"What do you want."

"Just to say hi." Severus raised his eyebrows. "Okay, maybe not just that. It's just, we became so much closer during the war, and now you never talk to me, and you looked so sexy in just your shirt and that arse in those tight trousers…" Potter cut himself off quickly and clapped a hand over his mouth.

"I see. If this is a prank, or anything connected with our dear Headmaster in order to find me what he terms 'company', then you may leave right now."

"And if not?"

"Then I will think on it."

"Well, so you know. It wasn't a joke. Or anything to do with Dumbledore. I'd really like to do something with you." Severus snorted.

"Do something indeed. Something like this you mean?" And Severus walked around his desk to stand in front of Harry, kissing him full on the lips. Releasing him, Severus stepped back and sat back down behind the desk.

"Yeah," replied Potter, sounding a bit faint. "Something like that."

"Well then, we will have to see won't we." Severus opened the door again with a wave of his wand and gestured towards the door. "When this is all over, tomorrow maybe, if you are still interested come and find me. We will talk then. Until then-"

"Yes?" asked Harry eagerly.

"I have a salsa teacher to escape."

Harry's laughter followed him down the hall, and listening to it, Severus had to admit… Maybe he did still have a nice arse after all.


End file.
